What Is the Difference Between Kinky Sex and Sexual Fetishes? Exploring Masturbation Potentials | liebste.info

We’ve all heard the word “kink” used in describing sexuality, as well as the term “fetish” related to sexuality. What are the difference between the two or are they one and the same?Kink, as it turns out is more related to non-traditional forms of sexuality that are used to enhance the arousal state between two partners. Kink is used as an accelerant and/or amplifier for sexual arousal through these methods that aren’t so conventional.One of course has to define “conventional” and its meaning. Being such a subjective term, it can be defined a zillion different ways. What is natural for one may be completely unnatural for another. This makes defining “kinky” acts a bit difficult to define, though this isn’t the important concept. The important concept behind is that with kinkiness, we are adding something to the sexual act that is shared by two partners. It adds to their sexual experience, together.A “fetish” is different. Apparently, fetishes are sexually arousing for their ability to replace the partner through another form of sexual stimulus. For instance, a man who is turned on by women’s shoes. The shoe becomes his “partner” and main focus of sexual intimacy (through fantasy thoughts or even physical contact — such as through masturbating with her shoes). The woman whose shoes he is getting aroused with (and by), is typically not present. Even if she was, she would be secondary to his primary focal point: her shoes.I imagine “fetish” would also extend to an individual who may be obsessive about certain body parts, and use these as the main source of arousal, even if these body parts are on another person. This would give us a fetishistic scenario that includes a partner. So, for example, if the aforementioned man had a foot fetish, then his main focus (with his partner) would be her feet and not her. She, as an individual, would take a backseat to her own feet.As masturbation is usually employed when one is alone, this would make it more of a fetishistic act (no partner, as with “kink”). Unless, of course, one was a narcissist. The narcissist (one who is in love with themselves) would sort of supply their own doppelganger during the process of masturbating. So what does that make a narcissistic autofellationist? Or what about a person with multiple personalities? (Jeez, all this sexuality stuff gets confusing.)Masturbation would then seem to be an excellent way for people to live out their “fetishes” in a truly fetishistic manner. After all, it’s a fetishistic act employing a fetish as a stimulant and focus. That seems rather obvious but it’s really a neat concept. It’s a way to live out and satisfy one’s sexual fantasies for themselves and by themselves. However, as we are all aware, when the fetish becomes too deeply embedded in one’s sexual card catalog of turn-ons, it can become too much of a dominant and controlling force. Then the individual has difficulty getting sexually aroused by any other method and this can impair their personal lives and relationships.I think we all need love, intimacy, kink, and comfort, with a dash of fetish sprinkled here and there.Exploring unconventional methods of sexuality; methods that our ancestors enjoyed and impassioned themselves with, is one of my interests. Those men who are interested in autofellatio should read Yogafellatio. It is a book that helps guide men in this intense form of sexuality.

Sexual Chemistry – Just Chemicals, Or Something You Can Build? | liebste.info

You’ve probably heard about sexual chemistry, and perhaps even experienced it. But what do we mean by the term, actually? How do you recognise it? And is it really down to chemicals – and therefore something outside of your control – or is it something else, something that you can work on and build over time? Read on and find out…What’s Meant By Sexual Chemistry? From a man’s point of view, by sexual chemistry I mean that “Wow!” feeling, that set of intense emotional and physical sensations that being with a specific woman brings on. Generally it’s at its most intense in the early stages of a relationship.The most immediate signs for me have been things that I would probably associate with an adrenaline surge. Like, my pulse suddenly lives in the back of my throat, I hear it in my ears; an excited bird flutters its wings in my stomach, I do and say things impulsively – and words that flow unbidden from my mouth cause my mind to reel in shock and horror! I become an accident zone – fidgeting, knocking over glasses, dropping things…Okay, okay, I exaggerate somewhat, but degrees of the above have definitely occurred.Fortunately, after the initial rush, sanity returns (somewhat, anyway), and a new phase begins. The sexual chemistry now brings on a feeling of lightness, and energy, like I could effortlessly dance and talk the night away. I feel ecstatic. Nothing to do with drugs – not the bought kind anyway…Food, usually a biggie for me, loses its importance – the pleasure of talking, listening to her, connecting and building rapport, is over-riding.She seems to be lit by a subtle spotlight, everything about her is vivid and attractive. I notice small things about her, which would normally be insignificant…like a delightful dusting of freckles on the lobe of one ear but not the other.A bubble of warm comfort surrounds me, us. I feel like I must have known her in a previous life… and strangely, often my thoughts at this time are not overtly about sex…What about women, do they have similar experiences of sexual chemistry? Most definitely. I remember some time back, when a new girlfriend confessed to “going weak at the knees…”And when the sexual chemistry flows two ways, heaven is at hand…or so it seems.Is There Really A Chemical Connection?It seems there is. Researchers have found conclusively that the above states are associated with increased blood levels of certain hormones and neurotransmitters. Elevated levels have been measured of especially the feel-good chemical dopamine and the neurotransmitter noradrenalin. The brain has also been found to be over-stimulated, neurons flashing like an electric storm!Okay, so the increased levels of chemicals are related to and actually cause the symptoms of sexual chemistry described above. But what causes the levels of these chemicals to become elevated in the first place? Surely these are evidence of super-strong attraction, in response to a particular person…So What Causes It Then? More Chemicals?Some scientists say it’s attributable to pheromones. These are chemicals that our bodies secrete (as do those of animals) and which attract members of the opposite sex. But to me that is somewhat facile and indiscriminate…it doesn’t explain why two people can have intense sexual chemistry between them, but if you take those same people and pair them with someone else, there is little or no chemistry.So perhaps chemicals do play a role, but the degree of sexual chemistry between two people is due to far more than just chemicals.So If Not Just Chemicals, What Then?First impressions play a huge role. Sometimes it’s sometimes described as “love at first sight”. And that does not mean only that we find the person physically attractive – in fact, many studies have found that other factors are far more important. These include their personal hygiene, their hair, their clothing and sense of style, their suntan (or lack of it), how healthy they look, how confident they are, the way they walk, talk, their mannerisms, and their aura of masculinity or femininity…down to the timbre, pitch and tone of their voice! Whether they laugh a lot or not, look high or drunk, hang with friends and seem well-liked. The list goes on…and best of all, apart from a few universals, everyone’s list is different – our preferences have been shaped by our personal histories.And it’s not a calculated thing, but virtually instinctive – we mostly pick up on these cues in a flash. I’m told it’s inbuilt, and perhaps we can’t always articulate it, but hey we’re hard-wired with this ability to select and cherry-pick what best suits us.So…Can One Build Sexual Chemistry?For some couples sexual chemistry takes a while before it “explodes”, which could have a lot to do with initial shyness and lack of confidence on the part of either or both partners. Mostly, however, if you don’t have it with a woman after the first few dates, chances are you’ll never have it with her.But what you can do is ensure that you improve your chances with the next woman you’re attracted to.First master the universal basics: personal hygiene, grooming, physical health and fitness. Next, improve your personality skills if necessary: courtesy and manners, natural friendliness, empathy, observation and conversation skills, and, perhaps the most important of all: self-confidence and self-esteem. Remember, a lot of help is available in the form of workshops, books, internet forums and more. Doing this will improve your chances of igniting sexual chemistry with a woman.But please, more than anything else: live a fun life that’s interesting – and interested! Embracing curiosity, imagination and a willingness to explore will of itself invite sexual chemistry into your life.